Living in the Second Tense is the story of a writer and the evil other he carries with him, the one Mama made when she was still around to make decisions for them. So what happens when the saner side of a man finally falls in love? Living in the Second Tense is available through Amazon.

Your walk-in closet is like the Men's Department at the average Saks Fifth. The slacks lined up first by color - black, gray, brown, denim. Then by designer - Armani, Perry Ellis, Ralph Lauren, Sean John. The shirts across the five foot expanse are organized by style, color, material. Tonight, you choose the black Armani slacks and a raw silk button down shirt in white. Shoes are at the back. They're all ridiculously expensive, made by Ferragamo, and black. With the stark exception of my dirty white Nikes tossed by the laundry hamper.

So you're dressed for the night out. Hunting clothes you always say with a laugh.

After dressing, you make your way to the bathroom. Check your well-trimmed, meant to make you look like you need to shave beard. Clip a section here or there with cuticle scissors. Check your longish brown hair for any cowlicks or - god forbid - grays.

Hair - check.

Skin- check.

Beard - check.

Obsession for Men - check.

You look one last time in the mirror, unbutton the top three buttons at your neck to show a little brown chest hair against the white shirt. With a quick two finger gun gesture at your reflection, you're ready.


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